Sh*t Triathletes SHOULD Say
by Chris Hague
I work in a triathlon store and some days I feel like I have walked onto the set of “Sh*t triathletes say.” 
I hear all the stereotypical lines like “Yeah today was just an easy 3 hour ride. I averaged about 300 watts but wasn’t wearing my compression socks so it naturally was a bit low,”
“Do you have any Gluten free, Wheat free, Soy Free and Agave nectar free protein bars? I am really trying to cut down to my racing weight before my A race in a month,”
“…going to get my VO2 max tested right after this next hard training block,”
“Should I shave my legs before my TT workout this afternoon or after?”
(note that I am NOT making any of this up! I have actually heard these lines).
To me, these lines, while hysterical especially considering that the athletes are serious, show a great deal of insecurity. Many athletes—especially triathletes for some reason—like to share their training and accomplishments with anyone who will listen or, thanks to Twitter and Facebook.
But many of these conversations, posts, and tweets derive from a fear that they are not doing enough and a sense that they need external validation to verify their personal accomplishments. If they do not justify or share what they are doing with others than their training is pointless. However, although I am not of fan of bragging about training regimens, I am a fan of tri-talk. As a coach, here is what triathletes should be saying:
“I don’t think I should workout today. My body is telling me I need an off day.”
“I do not need to explain my workout to that other guy [who just passed me]; its my workout so why should she care?”
“I knocked out a fast-and-fun 30 minute swim workout this afternoon.”
“I do not need that cookie because I respect my body and it will not help me recover or my training” and on occasion “I think I will have that cookie since a treat every so often is alright”
“I did alright last weekend at that race. While my time may not have been great, I had fun.”
“I may not be feeling it this workout, but I will make the most of it.”
“I will follow my race plan and not get carried away in the moment.”
“I think I will go to the race just to cheer my team mates on and volunteer.”
“What do I need to recover for my next workout?”
“Does this workout have a goal?”
“That was a great race: while I may not have gotten to the podium, I hit my goals, followed my training plans, and had even splits”
“Calve sleeves or full socks?”
“My training and strength is right where it needs to be”
“No need for a Garmin today…just going to enjoy the ride”
“That is a really nice bike but I like the one I have. To get faster I need to train harder instead”
“I should stick to my training plan instead of trying to keep up with the others.”
“Does this nail polish match my race kit?” (hopefully, just for the female athletes out there)
“If I believe, I can achieve”
“Focus on the long term goal and stick with the plan”
“I am doing this for me. I do not need others to tell me how well I am doing.”
“Hmmm, my legs are getting pretty hairy, maybe I ask my wife…”
Remember that these are not quotes you need to tell other people but rather tell yourself. With these phrases, you can become your own star of “Sh*t triathletes say.”
I read the above and I couldnt agree more- I quit running because I was tired of all the BS braggers and people who are so serious they dont even speak to one another on course lol. I joined the triathlon gang to hopefully have more fun. There are two kinds of people I have met- those that TALK about it and those that DO it. The biggest talkers I find are just doing this to gain attention. The ones that are out there having fun competing and giving it their best, are the people I want to hang with. I will never win an Ironman, and you know what, I dont care lol. I may never finish first in my age group and I will never set any course records- but when I am 100 years old I will look back and say that “I did that” and have good memories, I WILL finish an Ironman 70.3, I will finish many races, and thats all that matters to me. I am doing triathlons because I am a healthy person who wants to stay healthy and active as a lifestyle, and the big talkers you mention above usually don’t stick with something a long time because eventually no one wants to listen to them and they lose their audience and move on to something else.
+100
This article has some good points, but I admit I’m guilty of bragging (informing) about my workouts. I figure if people hate it, they can always unfriend me. I started my whole workout rebirth on Facebook and got support from my online friends and helped encourage others the same way.
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