5 Ways You Can Use Your Emotions To Have a Better Triathlon
I woke up stressed out, stomach in knots, dreading what was to come of the day.
It didn’t matter if I had a solid 8 hours of sleep, or just a few. It didn’t matter if the sun was shining or behind thick, dark clouds.
It didn’t matter if I had 10 million things that were going well, or if I just had a really great workout the day before, if I had a full to-do list or an empty one- the dread over my current state persisted each morning.
Logically, it made no sense. And I told myself that every day. Lots of things to be thrilled about, and really not much to be unhappy about. But somehow, my logical brain wasn’t in control, instead, my emotions set things up for me. How’s my business going to improve? How am I going to get a girlfriend? How am I going to fix this annoying shoulder tendonitis? What if someone is angry with me right now? What if the dollar plummets to zero? What if my tenants decide to stop paying rent?
All of these were legitimate concerns! All can also lead to a day full of anxiety, stress, worry, and bunch of other unhealthy states.
And in many ways, I have no reason to complain, no reason to worry, and compared to so many other people, my life would be considered easy! I just interviewed a woman who got cancer TWICE, and has had to live with rheumatoid arthritis for most of her life, and yet, has an upbeat spirit about her that is contagious!
But comparing yourself to others, giving yourself pep talks, and trying to reason your way out of it doesn’t work. Reading inspiring books and blog posts also doesn’t work. Neither does getting drunk, or even surrounding yourself with lots of friends.
What does “work”? How can you be free from your emotions? After all, if you’re trapped by your emotions, you are not free at all- no matter how much money you have, races you have won, or even how many people praise you on a daily basis. If your emotions are out of control, your training will suffer, as will many other things in your life. Here’s 5 ways you can gain control of your emotions and use them to your advantage in your next triathlon:
1. Write it down. Your emotions control you when you identify with them. Writing or journaling what is going on inside allows you to detach from your emotions, and get out of whatever state you are in. Mark Lindsay describes how this process works from a psychological standpoint in his excellent article called How To Achieve Emotional Control. In the past, when I have woke up worried about something, if I take the pen to the paper and just start writing it usually decreases my anxiety levels by at least 75-80% almost immediately. If I work in some Nathaniel Branden sentence completions, I can usually get rid of all or most of the rest of the stress and have a smooth and energetic day.
2. Move. Don’t even think of it as exercise, just move your body. I love walking. I also like to run the stairs, or just jog really slowly, ride my beach cruiser, do yoga, go for an easy swim, or if possible- play some volleyball or do some rock climbing. For me, all of the above can be a form of meditation. (some people even think of cleaning as a form of meditation, I have yet to enjoy it but maybe this will work for you!) Some triathletes can use their swim, bike, or run sessions as a form of therapy. When you’re moving, your mind will be focused on the activity at hand. If you are walking, you can focus on your breathing. Or count steps, or look for new paths or scenery. If you do think about your problems or worries, they will be easier to deal with as you move than if you’re just laying on your bed, or sitting on the couch with remote in hand. Studies are showing that high-intensity exercise is best for stress-relief, but all of it is beneficial and I say do what works for you.
3. Breathe deeply. I have found that deep breathing can help bring me out of worked up states. I use the 4-7-8 method I learned years ago from Dr. Andrew Weil. Basically, you breathe in through your nose to a count of 4, hold your breath for 7, and exhale to a count of 8. Start off with just doing this a couple of times and build up. If you do too many too soon, you will get dizzy and may pass out! But over time, increase it to about 10 rounds, do those in the morning and at night (and maybe a few in the day for good measure). This works great to settle yourself down right before your race (a couple of rounds) to calm the nerves and stay focused.
4. Interact with people. Talking to random people in your day can not only make you a more interesting person, it can put you in a good mood. In fact, for me, it is almost guaranteed to put me in a better mood! I’m talking about just striking up random conversations. In line at the coffee shop or super market. Waiting for the elevator. In public places. Most people are bored out of their minds and will be lifted by your gesture. I usually go with something simple, like “How’s your day going?” The trick is to default to starting these conversations to the point where it feels strange to not say anything! Don’t worry, only about 1% of people will think you’re deranged and will want to run away immediately. The small connections you make (and sometimes they may work into bigger connections) will get you out of your own head, cultivate empathy for people, and in time you will start to see your life improve with just this one thing.
5. Fall in love with objective reality. It’s easy to dream up lots of things that either you think are going wrong, or can potentially go wrong. One thing that really helps me to stay on an even keel emotionally is figuring out the facts around whatever it is I begin to worry about.
-”OMG I’m going broke!” If I ever think this, I will review all my finances and find out that it’s simply not the case.
-”OMG everyone is out to screw me!” I just think of the last 5 interactions and about 99% of the time, at least 4 of the 5 were pleasant. Therefore, everyone cannot be out to screw me!
-”OMG my swimming sucks!” This usually is concluded when comparing yourself to others. Everyone is at a different point of development, so it will be far more productive to focus on your own individual improvements. Even if your swim time got slower, some things probably went right in your race (like…how about your overall race?).
The more objective you can be about your situation, the more you will be in control of your life and your emotions.
In taking control of our emotions we start to form a clear path to personal freedom, and more energy overall. This can allow us to make much better decisions and set us up to maximize happiness, excelling at the things we love, and minimize wasted time worrying, sweating the small stuff, and having the feeling like the time is flying by like an Usain Bolt 100 meter dash!
Interesting article about emotional and logical mind. Although men don’t talk about it, the subliminal subtleties are there. I can’t reasonably talk about it in a concise manner, however, I was a victim of that emotional mind – the every day worries, am I training incorrectly, do I have to push harder. My anxiety was out of control and I had to hide it. Sometimes, my friends, whom won’t admit they had the same fears–thought I was a little odd. It’s interesting to see that behavior in other people. Often times, people just don’t want the responsibility to save you or support you because it takes away from them. In my opinion, the other individual does not want to be weighted down with someone who lacks that training or athlete confidence.
My notion was that yes, I was emotional. But so were my new-bee friends, yet I felt slighted because I somewhat expressed my fears as a swimmer. I was trying to reach out without saying help me. I wanted my friend to take control as a coach would because he was a confident athlete. Even though my friend was patient with me, I felt slighted. He tended to lean towards individuals that had the confidence, or at least, did not show it. Or because, the have gone through it. There in a different place now. I felt angry because I needed the most help and I was sometimes left out of training. They call it a selfish sport in someways but it depends how you look at it.
Now, that my fears are going away. My self confidence is restored to 89%. Now I see how letting go and doing your own thing is so important. Hire a coach, a good coach that fits the fit. Or take more time, to plan the races, train, and move forward with a plan vs trying to do all. Im a better swimmer, better cyclist, and a better runner. Though I have a descent circle of friends to train with, I still feel the little bit of yearning to have a good friend by my side or each other side for support. Is there anything wrong to want to have a good training buddy? How do you find the balance?
Mac Michael
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Denise Reply:
June 5th, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Mac, Everything that you have experience is just about what has happen to me. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a good training buddy. The way to balance it for me is that during the week I workout by myself and on the weekends my training buddy and I train together and then compare notes on what we did during the week. I still get to train in solitude and train with my great friend. For me it is the best of two worlds.
Denise
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